Tag Archives: support

Support Matters

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I’ve been looking through old photos recently, and they’ve gotten me thinking about the relationship I have with my father. Our personalities often clashed when I was growing up, and in all honesty, we didn’t get along very well. I didn’t particularly care when he moved out, and with regards to our relationship, I’m a lot happier now.

The thing is, my dad just wasn’t very supportive. He had a good relationship with Tara. She was athletic, and a good swimmer, and enjoyed cycling. But my dad just couldn’t accept that I wasn’t like that. I preferred reading and writing and drawing and singing, to going outdoors and playing sports. But according to him, those weren’t valid interests. He tried to push me with my swimming, and criticised me when I never got any better. Not being very good with confrontation, the only way I could bring myself to tell him my feelings about this was to write him a letter – which he promptly tore up in front of me.

Even now that I’m an adult, he still hasn’t gotten much better. He continually grills into me for not having a job (as though I can control the employment market) or a drivers license (as though his teaching wasn’t what scared me off). And funnily enough, those are the only two things he ever asks me about every few months when I see him. Oh, and one other question – whether or not I have a boyfriend yet. Except for the last time I saw him, when he followed that by asking if I have a girlfriend. Which brings me to my next point.

My dad is a huge homophobe. He goes on about how being gay is unnatural and a disorder, and that he could cure it if he had enough money. Whenever Tara or I call him out for it, he says (and I paraphrase) “[he] can’t possibly be a homophobe because [he’s] not scared of gay people, [he] just think[s] there’s something wrong with them, and anyway [he has] gay friends”. Fine dad, you’re being heterosexist. Whatever you decide to call it, it’s incredibly bigoted. Tara once asked him what he would do if she were gay. He scoffed and told her (and I actually quote this time, not just paraphrase) “don’t be stupid, you’re not gay”. He was right, Tara isn’t gay, but that’s completely beside the point. What if she was gay, and his bigoted attitude was preventing her from safely coming out? What if I was gay, and she was trying to test the waters for me? I’m fairly sure the only reason he asked if I had a girlfriend that time was to appear tolerant with my aunt and uncle in the car, as my female cousin recently revealed to them that she has a girlfriend.

If I ever have children, I am going to try my best to be the most supportive parent possible. It doesn’t matter whether they want to swim, or run, or dance, or sing, or act, or write, or draw. It doesn’t matter whether they like men, or women, or everyone, or no-one. It doesn’t matter whether they are a boy, or a girl, or something else, or none of the above. It doesn’t matter whether they want to be a teacher, or a doctor, or a lawyer, or an actor, or a nurse, or a dancer, or a bartender. The only thing that does matter is how they treat people, whether it be other people or themselves. I vow to accept my children for who they are, because I know only too well how much it hurts when even the small things go unsupported.

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Zazzle Schmazzle

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A while ago I bought some badges from Zazzle. I don’t think I’ll be doing that any longer.

A few months ago I tried to buy some more badges. Some of them were custom made by me – and yes, I admit I did use some images that may have been copyrighted, as they were from shows, films, or internet videos. So the order was inevitably cancelled due to copyright issues. However, I was a bit confused as to which specific badges caused the issues. I had ordered six custom badges, and four of them had not been approved. The images I used were a pokeball, a Tyrell flower, the word ‘friend!’ with two thumbs up, a pegacorn someone drew me in the style of a My Little Pony pony, a Toy Story alien, and the ‘I am a stegosaurus’ dinosaur. Now I had no way to check which badges were accepted or not. My best guess was that the accepted images were the pegacorn and either the thumbs up friend or the Tyrell flower. But of course, I wanted to make sure, so I could place another order without it being cancelled again. So I sent Zazzle an email. Here is a copy of the correspondence:

ME: Hi! I tried to order some badges the other day, and some of them were ones I customised myself. Because I was only getting them for myself, I didn’t realise any copyrights applied, so I apologise for the Toy Story and Pokemon badges. But I’m confused – it said two were accepted, and four were rejected, but I can’t figure out which, as the links aren’t working. It also seems odd, as I’m pretty sure less than four have copyrighted items in their designs. So could you please help me out, and let me know which specific designs were rejected and why? The order number was 131-56846567-9102810. Thanks so much!

ZAZZLE: Thank you for your e-mail.
Information regarding copyrighted material can be found here: http://zazzle.custhelp.com/app/answers/detail/a_id/87
A detailed description of Zazzle’s content policies is available at: http://zazzle.custhelp.com/cgi-bin/zazzle.cfg/php/enduser/std_adp.php?p_faqid=143
Thanks for using Zazzle. If you have any further questions, please don’t hesitate to ask.

Now I admit, I gave up on that pretty easy. But they had bounced me around for a while before I got that extremely generic and unhelpful reply, so I just thought “stuff ’em”. But then I got an email for $7 off orders above $7, so I thought “why not buy a few badges and pay only slightly more than shipping?”. So I put some badges in my cart, only to discover that the price of badges had risen over a dollar. Now, to most people, a dollar doesn’t seem like much. And in all honesty, it isn’t much. But for cheap products like badges, a price increase is never small. So I sent another email:

ME: Hi. A few months ago, I bought a bunch of badges, only for the order to be cancelled due to copyright. I sent two emails asking which designs they refused, but because no-one helped me, and only repeated the same thing over again, I gave up on the order. Today I received an email for $7 off an order, so I thought “why not try again?” only to discover that apparently badges are almost twice the price now! What is going on? Why are tiny little badges so expensive? I can buy them for as little as 20 cents elsewhere.

I was supposed to receive an answer within the next business day, but alas, I still have not received a response. However, I sent an unrelated email regarding a voucher not ten minutes later, and I received a reply for that almost immediately. This was almost two weeks ago, by the way. But anyway, I really wanted that damn pegacorn badge! So a couple of days ago, I sent another email. Only this time, it was a bit more heated. Now check this out:

ME: Hi. I was thinking of buying some badges, but after putting some in my cart, I realised something. A while ago, I tried to buy some badges, only to be told that some of the custom ones had not been accepted due to copyright. I emailed you and received a generic answer. I emailed you again and received a generic link. None of these addressed my question at all – I asked WHICH SPECIFIC items were not accepted, and you gave me a stupid unrelated link to Disney copyright. But anyway, after that, I gave up. Now I’m thinking of buying from you again, as you’re the only place I know of where I can design my own buttons. But there’s been an insane price hike. When I filled up my cart this time, I discovered that to buy items with a $5 discount + volume discount would cost me MORE than buying them without a discount last time I attempted to. That’s just ridiculous. I can buy badges for 20 freakin’ cents. So my question is, WHY has there been a price increase?

ZAZZLE: Each product on our site is posted by individual designers who control their own prices. Unfortunately, we can not adjust the prices that they have selected for their item.

ME: I know the difference between a price hike and natural price differences. The custom buttons are more expensive, as are buttons I had in my cart last time I attempted a purchase. I’m asking about the reasons behind the actual price hike, not the reason why some badges are more expensive than others.

ZAZZLE: We did not have a price hike. The only time prices would go up is if the designer changes their royalty.

ME: I’m afraid the website must be glitching then. Back when I made that order that got cancelled, a custom square badge cost $2.95 pre-discount, but now the same square badge would cost me $4.10 pre-discount…

ZAZZLE: When I go into your account and order the buttons from your last cancelled order- the price is the same:

Zazzle Email

ME: I’m going to repeat myself here:
“Back when I made that order that got cancelled, a custom square badge cost $2.95 pre-discount, but now the same square badge would cost me $4.10 pre-discount.”
Square. SQUARE. Not round. That round one that you used as an example? That was $2.20 pre-discount last time. Again, what are the reasons behind the price increase?

ZAZZLE: We did not have a price hike. The only time prices would go up is if the designer changes their royalty.
 I’m sorry but we do not have any other answer regarding the prices. Its a royalty issue outside out our control- designers have the right to change their royalty which changes the overall price.

ME: The badges in question were created by me. You have had a price increase. Please stop trying to avoid the question.

Now, I know you’re probably sitting there right now with your eyebrows floating ten feet above your head. And yes, I know I’m insane. But I have principles! And one of those principles is that no-one messes with my money. And stinging me several dollars for a tiny little badge, when I can get them around town for less than fifty cents, and when I have in fact bought the same badges for less – that, dear sir, is messing with my money. Oh, and by the way, that last email never got a response either.