Tag Archives: men

Non-Sexual Fetishes


Many a time, I have seen people describe a strong attraction of theirs as a fetish. I’m a bit iffy on that one. Now, I’m not trying to stop people from calling something a fetish if they’re attracted to it. If they feel comfortable with that label, then so be it. But to me, it just seems… deceptive to call something a fetish if it doesn’t actually turn you on (I will, however, accept the use of the term ‘turn-on’. Because that’s logical…).

If I were to be deceptive myself, and label something a fetish when it’s really not, then I would have a hell of a lot of fetishes. But I do not have a fetish for long necks, red hair on women, upturned noses, gay men, dark hair, physical vulnerabilities, androgyny, male ballet dancers, or Egyptian feet. Just a strong attraction. I would feel wrong describing any of those as fetishes.

Now when I write, I don’t write fanservice. Random pairings that don’t have much point? No thank you. Sex scenes? I’d much rather them occur off-screen, if at all. But I do write a fair bit of Caitservice. A fair few of my story attempts have actually started as pure Caitservice. If I have the opportunity to include one of the above things in my fiction, I bloody well will. Sometimes multiple of those things. But I will not refer to them in a sexual way, just as I do not think of them in a sexual way, and no way in hell will I call any of them a fetish.


Transgender is not a Gender


Rather, it is a type of gender. Having ‘male’, ‘female’, and ‘transgendered’ as the gender options in a survey is ridiculous. It’s as bad as having ‘transgender male’, ‘transgender female’, and ‘cisgendered’ as the options. And both are almost as bad as having ‘cisgendered’ and ‘transgendered’ as the only options. The formers tell us only half of the participants’ actual genders. The latter tells us nothing at all. Having ‘transgendered’ as the only extra gender option on top of ‘male’ and ‘female’ is not being inclusive. It’s just a really bad attempt. If someone really wants their survey to be inclusive of all genders, then their options should be ‘male’, ‘female’, ‘bigender’, ‘androgynous’, and ‘agender’ (and there are probably even more floating around out there). Or, if it’s really that important to them that they know the transstate (I just made that word up…) of their participants, then have ‘cis male’, ‘cis female’, ‘transgender male’, ‘transgender female’, ‘transsexual male’, ‘transsexual female’ as the options instead of plain old ‘male’ and ‘female’. Or, better, yet, just have a blank box to type in.

But gender is not the only culprit, oh no. Sexuality is a huge one. Surveys usually ask about sexuality in one of two ways. The first is to ask participants what their sexuality is, out of ‘straight’, ‘gay’, or ‘bi’. The second is to ask participants if they are interested in ‘men’, ‘women’, or ‘both’. Sigh. We’ve already established that there are more than two genders, so clearly that second method needs more options. But that first method is insanely wrong! Sure, there’s ‘heterosexual’, ‘homosexual’, and ‘bisexual’ – but what about ‘androgenosexual’, ‘androsexual’, ‘gynosexual’, ‘pansexual’, ‘polysexual’, ‘asexual’, ‘greysexual’, and ‘demisexual’ (and again, there are probably even more around)? And then there’s all the romantic types…

Seriously, with all these possible labels out there, is it really that hard to just ask people what they identify as? Must we really make little multiple choice answers for them to neatly categorise themselves into? Now I’ve never made a survey before, but surely it can’t be too difficult to have a little typing box instead of a bunch of options to choose from. If anything, it seems like it would be easier!