Tag Archives: married

Love is Love, Regardless of Gender

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I have basically one political belief. And that is that gay marriage should be legal.

People do not choose who they love. They fall in love. They don’t jump in love. And if two people are in love, then they should have the right to show that love in a legally recognised way like marriage – no matter what gender they are.

Some people say that they already do. That they can already have their relationship legally recognised through a civil union. But that brings up the issue of equality. They’re not equal rights if people in same-sex relationships get an entirely different thing.

Some people say that marriage is a religious thing. That religion defines marriage as the formal union between a man and a woman, and that same-sex marriage defies that. But if marriage is so religious, then why can I get married? I’m not religious. I don’t believe in any higher beings. I’ll start believing this crap about marriage being religious the moment people like me are forbidden from getting married.

Some people say that people who endorse gay marriage are trying to redefine marriage. To them, I quote Cynthia Nixon, who said this beautifully: “Gay people who want to marry have no desire to redefine marriage in any way. When women got the right to vote, they did not redefine voting. When African-Americans got the right to sit at a lunch counter, alongside white people, they did not redefine eating out. They were simply invited to the table.” So why don’t we stop living in the past, and invite people in same-sex relationships to that lovely little table we call marriage?

Some people say that legalising gay marriage will encourage same-sex relationships. But like I said, people don’t choose who they love. Straight men/women aren’t going to marry some random other man/woman just because they can. They’re going to marry someone because they love them (or to get citizenship, but honestly, that happens already, so gay marriage is gonna have no impact on that). So that kind of ‘logic’ is absolutely ridiculous.

Some people take it even further, by claiming that legalising gay marriage will encourage all sorts of ‘horrifying’ relationships, like polyamory, polygamy, bestiality, and incest. Now that is just even more ridiculous. How can one type of relationship encourage another completely different one? That’s like saying that by tickling someone, you’re encouraging them to chop someone else’s foot off. So not related.

When I see people make arguments against gay marriage, I feel angry. It physically angers me. It angers me so much that finding out someone was against gay marriage would significantly lower my opinion of them. I don’t understand how anyone could be so selfish as to want to prevent other people from doing something, when that thing wouldn’t even affect them in the first place. Because same-sex marriage wouldn’t affect the people who are against it. I have never come across a gay person who was against gay marriage, yet all for straight marriage. It’s either all or nothing.

In my opinion, they have three options:

  1. Abolish all marriage.
  2. Give religious people in religious relationships marriage, and everyone else civil unions.
  3. Let couples get married, regardless of gender or religion.

You’d think it would be a simple choice. Religion would be too hard to monitor, so 2’s out. And surely people want to get married, so 1’s out. That leaves 3. See! What a brilliantly simple decision! But apparently some people fail to see that.

I’m straight, and I believe in gay marriage. Good luck meeting me if you don’t.

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How is this Progress?

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A long time ago, it was expected of women that when they grew up, they would get married and have children, and that their job would be to stay at home and look after them. Women didn’t have careers – the men were the breadwinners. And for a women to not have children was unthinkable.

Nowadays, we have it ‘good’. Anyone can get a job. When a couple has children, sometimes the mum stays at home, sometimes the dad stays at home. Sometimes both the parents are women, or both the parents are men, so whoever stays home wouldn’t make a difference to that aspect. And sometimes no-one stays home, and it’s a nanny or babysitter that looks after the children.

A friend of mine posted something on her tumblr a while ago. When she was in high school, her class had to write down what they wanted to be in the future. My friend wrote down ‘housewife’, and was promptly criticised for it, even being called lazy.

Firstly, wanting to be a housewife is not lazy. Housewives have to cook and clean. They have to look after their children – watch them, play with them, comfort them, wash them, dress them, read to them, patch them up when they get hurt… And if they’re babies or toddlers, then just add change their nappies and feed them to the list. They have to do the household’s shopping, and with the children at that, making it all the more difficult. That is hard work. Housewives are not lazing around at home watching telly all day. They are being chefs, and maids, and baby-sitters, and teachers, and doctors, and chauffeurs.

And secondly, I thought the days were over when people had things expected of them, and couldn’t make their own decisions about the future? Women may not be expected to be housewives anymore, but that doesn’t mean our lives are playing into people’s expectations any less. Instead of being wives and mothers, we are expected to get jobs, and have careers. Nowadays, being a wife and mother is viewed as secondary, and nothing to aspire to.

I am currently studying a Bachelor of Arts at university, with a major in psychology. Not because I have any huge desire to be a psychologist, but because it is expected of me. Certainly, I find the subject interesting, but I would rather keep my house and look after my children than actually apply that knowledge to a career.

So tell me, how is it progress, when all we’ve done is swap one expectation for another?