Tag Archives: lesbian

Support Matters

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I’ve been looking through old photos recently, and they’ve gotten me thinking about the relationship I have with my father. Our personalities often clashed when I was growing up, and in all honesty, we didn’t get along very well. I didn’t particularly care when he moved out, and with regards to our relationship, I’m a lot happier now.

The thing is, my dad just wasn’t very supportive. He had a good relationship with Tara. She was athletic, and a good swimmer, and enjoyed cycling. But my dad just couldn’t accept that I wasn’t like that. I preferred reading and writing and drawing and singing, to going outdoors and playing sports. But according to him, those weren’t valid interests. He tried to push me with my swimming, and criticised me when I never got any better. Not being very good with confrontation, the only way I could bring myself to tell him my feelings about this was to write him a letter – which he promptly tore up in front of me.

Even now that I’m an adult, he still hasn’t gotten much better. He continually grills into me for not having a job (as though I can control the employment market) or a drivers license (as though his teaching wasn’t what scared me off). And funnily enough, those are the only two things he ever asks me about every few months when I see him. Oh, and one other question – whether or not I have a boyfriend yet. Except for the last time I saw him, when he followed that by asking if I have a girlfriend. Which brings me to my next point.

My dad is a huge homophobe. He goes on about how being gay is unnatural and a disorder, and that he could cure it if he had enough money. Whenever Tara or I call him out for it, he says (and I paraphrase) “[he] can’t possibly be a homophobe because [he’s] not scared of gay people, [he] just think[s] there’s something wrong with them, and anyway [he has] gay friends”. Fine dad, you’re being heterosexist. Whatever you decide to call it, it’s incredibly bigoted. Tara once asked him what he would do if she were gay. He scoffed and told her (and I actually quote this time, not just paraphrase) “don’t be stupid, you’re not gay”. He was right, Tara isn’t gay, but that’s completely beside the point. What if she was gay, and his bigoted attitude was preventing her from safely coming out? What if I was gay, and she was trying to test the waters for me? I’m fairly sure the only reason he asked if I had a girlfriend that time was to appear tolerant with my aunt and uncle in the car, as my female cousin recently revealed to them that she has a girlfriend.

If I ever have children, I am going to try my best to be the most supportive parent possible. It doesn’t matter whether they want to swim, or run, or dance, or sing, or act, or write, or draw. It doesn’t matter whether they like men, or women, or everyone, or no-one. It doesn’t matter whether they are a boy, or a girl, or something else, or none of the above. It doesn’t matter whether they want to be a teacher, or a doctor, or a lawyer, or an actor, or a nurse, or a dancer, or a bartender. The only thing that does matter is how they treat people, whether it be other people or themselves. I vow to accept my children for who they are, because I know only too well how much it hurts when even the small things go unsupported.

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A is for Asexual

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LGBT is an acronym most people have heard of. LGBTQ is less well-known, but still pretty recognisable. LGBTQI is not so well-known. LGBTQIA even less so. But despite the fact that the more letters there are in the acronym, the more people don’t know what it means, letters still keep getting added, in order to be inclusive of as many identities as possible. And although it’s a slow process, they are becoming more and more recognisable.

But problems arise when people don’t know what the letters mean. The biggest culprit of this is the letter A. There is an incredible number of allies who claim that the A is their letter. What’s even more astounding is the number of LGBT+ groups that seem to agree with them. Now this is problematic for a number of reasons:

1. Ally is not a minority identity. It’s not really an identity at all as far as the actual LGBT+ identities are concerned. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, asexual, pansexual… They relate to sexual orientation. Trans, intersex… They relate to sex and gender. But being an ally is nothing like that. Allies have just made the decision to be decent human beings.

2. When allies claim the A as their own, it contributes to the erasure of several already fairly unknown identities, the most prominent being asexual. Allies are there to support the LGBT+ community. Pulling out the rug from under asexual, agender, and aromantic people and stepping on their faces is not very supportive.

3. It’s a goddamn paradox! Including allies in the LGBT+ acronym means that they are a part of that community. But ally by definition is a supportive third party. How can people be allies of the LGBT+ community if they’re already a part of it? Exactly, they can’t. It goes against the entire definition of the word ally. But if adding allies to the acronym removes their allyness and they disappear from the acronym in a puff of logic, then they’d just become allies again! Do people not learn this from theories of time travel? Paradoxes are bad. Stop. Making. Them.

People I Hate

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  1. People who try and force their beliefs upon others
  2. People who steal good usernames and don’t use their accounts
  3. People who don’t believe in gay marriage
  4. People who dispute the legitimacy of sexualities and/or genders
  5. People who make too much noise on public transport
  6. People who steal other people’s video games and overwrite their saves
  7. People who steal other people’s anything
  8. People who try to claim credit for someone else’s work
  9. People who act all elitist
  10. People who get mad at other people for doing things when they do them as well
  11. People who refuse to believe the truth
  12. People who assume everyone is like them, and inadvertently insult others as a result
  13. People who claim that someone else’s problem isn’t actually a problem, just because they have a bigger one
  14. People who spell simple words incorrectly
  15. People who claim that other people won’t be able to spell and/or pronounce simple words correctly
  16. People who think it is a compliment to insult someone’s past self
  17. People who complain about being fat and/or ugly when they aren’t
  18. People who complain about being fat and/or ugly when they aren’t and then get all pissy when someone agrees
  19. People who post photos on Facebook with the caption “omg im so fkn uglyy n supa fat xx”
  20. People who refuse to back down when they are wrong
  21. People who pretend to be stupid
  22. People who aren’t gay who make out with people of the same sex for attention
  23. People who think they’re too cool for books and that books are only for nerds
  24. People who think ‘nerd’ is an insult
  25. People who wear fake glasses
  26. People who wear fake glasses that don’t even have the decency to have fake lenses in them
  27. People who tell other people they wish they were like them because life would be easier
  28. People who try and teach people about things they know nothing about
  29. People who use their phones in the middle of some kind of social event (including lunch)
  30. People who think they’re entitled to everything from their parents
  31. People who are rude to their parents
  32. People who say c*nt
  33. People who act like there is something wrong with someone else just because they find different people attractive
  34. People who bring uninvolved people into disputes, whether it be for backup or to punish them
  35. People who refuse to apologise when they know they are wrong
  36. People who stand next to empty seats on trams
  37. People who stand next to empty seats on super-packed trams
  38. People who buy their young children smartphones
  39. People who demand respect but don’t give it
  40. People who think smacking is child abuse
  41. People who leave their rubbish lying around
  42. People who beg for money without doing something interesting for it
  43. People who try to guilt trip other people into donating to their charity
  44. People who don’t move to the left side of the footpath when someone else is walking towards them
  45. People who walk in the middle of the footpath whilst carrying a giant bag of oranges
  46. People who call other adults ‘sweetie’ or other condescending terms
  47. People who abhor labels and ignore their usefulness
  48. People who find racism, sexism, or any other kind of -ism in everything
  49. People who refuse to acknowledge actual differences among groups because doing so is ‘racist’ or ‘sexist’, etc.
  50. People who insist that only pansexuals can be attracted to a person based on their personality
  51. People who insist that only pansexuals can be attracted to transgenders
  52. People who insist that anyone who isn’t pansexual is only attracted to people for their genitals
  53. People who write instead of draw on internet pictionary games
  54. People who call using a private number without leaving a message
  55. People who have experienced discrimination first-hand, yet still discriminate against others
  56. People who board public transport without letting other people off first
  57. People who sit in the aisle seat – when the seats beside them are empty – on packed public transport
  58. People who chew gum with their mouth open
  59. People who don’t cover their mouths when coughing or sneezing
  60. People who smoke in places where others can’t escape
  61. People who say sentences involving “let alone” or “much less” in the wrong order
  62. People who misuse the word ‘literally’
  63. People who lean back or put their arm around someone on public transport, and end up touching me as a result
  64. People who volunteer for a job and then desert their post
  65. People who pronounce negotiate as nə-GO-see-ayt instead of nə-GO-shee-ayt
  66. People who claim that behaviours such as wearing make-up, shaving, and bra-wearing are just internalised objectification, and that no woman could possibly want to do those of her own accord
  67. People who argue that people with nothing to hide should have no problem with people snooping through their stuff
  68. People who use ‘bae’ as a pet name
  69. People who criticise people for being afraid of something because it’s inevitable and therefore irrational to be afraid
  70. People who claim that only white people/men/heterosexuals can be racist/sexist/sexualist

Love is Love, Regardless of Gender

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I have basically one political belief. And that is that gay marriage should be legal.

People do not choose who they love. They fall in love. They don’t jump in love. And if two people are in love, then they should have the right to show that love in a legally recognised way like marriage – no matter what gender they are.

Some people say that they already do. That they can already have their relationship legally recognised through a civil union. But that brings up the issue of equality. They’re not equal rights if people in same-sex relationships get an entirely different thing.

Some people say that marriage is a religious thing. That religion defines marriage as the formal union between a man and a woman, and that same-sex marriage defies that. But if marriage is so religious, then why can I get married? I’m not religious. I don’t believe in any higher beings. I’ll start believing this crap about marriage being religious the moment people like me are forbidden from getting married.

Some people say that people who endorse gay marriage are trying to redefine marriage. To them, I quote Cynthia Nixon, who said this beautifully: “Gay people who want to marry have no desire to redefine marriage in any way. When women got the right to vote, they did not redefine voting. When African-Americans got the right to sit at a lunch counter, alongside white people, they did not redefine eating out. They were simply invited to the table.” So why don’t we stop living in the past, and invite people in same-sex relationships to that lovely little table we call marriage?

Some people say that legalising gay marriage will encourage same-sex relationships. But like I said, people don’t choose who they love. Straight men/women aren’t going to marry some random other man/woman just because they can. They’re going to marry someone because they love them (or to get citizenship, but honestly, that happens already, so gay marriage is gonna have no impact on that). So that kind of ‘logic’ is absolutely ridiculous.

Some people take it even further, by claiming that legalising gay marriage will encourage all sorts of ‘horrifying’ relationships, like polyamory, polygamy, bestiality, and incest. Now that is just even more ridiculous. How can one type of relationship encourage another completely different one? That’s like saying that by tickling someone, you’re encouraging them to chop someone else’s foot off. So not related.

When I see people make arguments against gay marriage, I feel angry. It physically angers me. It angers me so much that finding out someone was against gay marriage would significantly lower my opinion of them. I don’t understand how anyone could be so selfish as to want to prevent other people from doing something, when that thing wouldn’t even affect them in the first place. Because same-sex marriage wouldn’t affect the people who are against it. I have never come across a gay person who was against gay marriage, yet all for straight marriage. It’s either all or nothing.

In my opinion, they have three options:

  1. Abolish all marriage.
  2. Give religious people in religious relationships marriage, and everyone else civil unions.
  3. Let couples get married, regardless of gender or religion.

You’d think it would be a simple choice. Religion would be too hard to monitor, so 2’s out. And surely people want to get married, so 1’s out. That leaves 3. See! What a brilliantly simple decision! But apparently some people fail to see that.

I’m straight, and I believe in gay marriage. Good luck meeting me if you don’t.

Oddly Straight

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Brian Molko

How am I straight? It’s a question I have asked myself many times. Am I even straight at all? That is a question I have also asked.

I am attracted to extremely feminine guys. Like, really feminine. Say for instance, Brian Molko. I don’t care if a guy wears lipstick. I love it when they wear (a reasonable amount of) eyeliner. And eyeshadow if they please. But only black. Pink eyeshadow would probably be a deal-breaker. I find it really hot when they wear (black) nail polish. And on their toes too. I’ve gotten really weird over bare feet lately… I don’t know why, I just like them O_O You can blame Pure Morning. Blasted music video. I also love guys with long hair. I don’t think I could ever date a guy with proper short man-hair. I was into Bill Kaulitz for a while there too, but I got over him. He’s just insanely girly, and far too thin.

Summer Glau

After much pondering, I’ve come to the conclusion that I am, in fact, oddly straight. There are many women I’d happily turn lesbian for. Amy Acker, Summer Glau, Katharine Isabelle, Kat Dennings, Alexz Johnson, Rose McGowan, Dita Von Teese, Alyssa Milano, Emily Perkins, Eliza Dushku, Kate Beckinsale, Jennifer Love Hewitt… But the real question is, could I ever actually love a woman? And the truth is, I don’t think I could. Sure, I’d one day like to see what it’s like (surprise, I’ve never actually experimented before), but I don’t think I could actually be with one. I can appreciate the beauty of women, and I even have pictures of said women in my “hot celebrities” folder, but that’s about as far as it gets. Although I can say I did once stare at a girl creepily because she looked like Emily Perkins… But that is BESIDE the point!