Tag Archives: ipod

Witchdar

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I walked into a room and found a hot guy lying on a bed. I walked over to him, and he jumped up and swirled me around. It turned out his name was Glen, and he was supposed to be basically Norman Reedus (though in hindsight, they were nothing alike). I dragged him out of that room and into my own, where we found some family friends. They were dropping off a teacup piglet and a miniature stag as a gift for my family. The pig and the stag ran around all cute-like, and played with each other. At one point they ran towards my legs, so I jumped up onto Glen’s back. He doubled over in pain, because it turns out the reason he was lying down was because he had a sore back. I apologised, and he was alright again. Then we started making out. He told me he loved me (that was fast), and after a moment’s hesitation, I told him I loved him as well (what even?).

All of a sudden, we were at uni, and had somehow gotten separated. I ran into Matt, and he told me that his iPod had ran out of battery, and he had nothing to keep him occupied during a long train ride that night. So I lent him my own iPod (why is my dream self so crazy?) and went off looking for other people. I realised that now I had nothing to keep myself occupied on my own long trip home, but then all of a sudden I found an old iPod in my pocket. It was basically dead, but somehow it still played a limited number of songs. And it was brown.

But anyway, I made my way to the exit, and found that there was a man there with an incredible witchdar (witch radar), and in order to leave the uni, we had to be sorted by him into ‘witch’ or ‘mortal’. I got in line, and saw Glen waiting ahead of me. Apparently he was a witch now, so we gave each other a little look as to ‘I wonder if he’ll get me right’. But the witchdar man said Glen was a mortal, and then Glen went outside. I was wearing a gigantic black cross around my neck (seriously?), so I expected him to pick me as a witch, even though I was a mortal. But he picked me as a mortal as well, which made me feel jealous of all the people who did get picked as witches.

I went outside, and called out to Glen, who was walking a few metres in front of me. I caught up to him, and kissed him hello. We met up with Grace underneath a eucalyptus tree, and started chatting. But then Glen started freaking out about how there were bugs on him. I didn’t see any, but Grace told him that she had bugs too. I told her off for encouraging his hallucination, but then the bugs got on me as well! They were tiny bugs that had come from the eucalyptus tree, so we moved away from it.

Then Glen was being a flirt (though he was still in love with me). I told him that he was too damn charming, and that he could get anyone to go out with him. Then we played Pokemon.

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I Hate People Who Make Too Much Noise On Public Transport

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I hate people who listen to music with their phones. I don’t care if you’re actually listening to good music. I don’t care if your earphones are broken. Some people are trying to read. Some people are trying to sleep. And some people are trying to listen to their own damn music!

I hate people who blast music through their earphones at insane volumes. It gets really annoying hearing the music of a song accompanying muffled vocals. And when the whole songs are crystal clear – what even?! I’ve tested my earphones at normal levels. I’ve tested them at ‘too loud’ levels. Even at ‘too damn fucking loud’ levels can I hear music from out of my ears only in a quiet room! Yours must be at ‘torture my ears to death’ levels! Like, seriously, how are your ears still alive?!

I hate people who play musical instruments. I don’t care if you’re good at it. I have my own music to listen to. If I wanted to hear acoustic show-off jamming I would’ve shoved a mic next to a school music room and chucked that on my iPod. Busking in the street is fine. But playing loudly in an enclosed vehicle where no-one can escape? Now that is just not on.

Things That Piss Me Off

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I found a list of things that annoy me the other day, that I wrote a few years ago. I thought I might post it up here, with a few alterations. So now it shall be a mixture of things that annoy me a bit, and things that really do actually piss me off.

  • Girls who take photos of themselves while thrusting their hips together, hands on hips, arching their backs, and pouting their lips.
  • People who post photos of themselves online with the caption ‘ugh I’m so ugly’. If you think you’re ugly, you hide the picture or photoshop it nice. You’re clearly just seeking compliments.
  • Girls who say “I’m so fat, I’m so fat” all the time to fish for compliments.
  • Girls who do the above, and then when someone finally agrees, they get all bitchy.
  • People who share their own photos on Facebook. As in, post a photo of themselves on Facebook, and then 6 hours later, click the ‘share’ button. Yes, there are people who do this. Yes, this makes me want to eat my own head.
  • People who post photos of food on Facebook. Okay, this doesn’t piss me off as such, I just don’t get it! Why do we need to see your food? Sure, it’s understandable when you’ve made an awesome pool-cake or something, but why do we need to see your boring old salad?!
  • When I need to stretch my toes, but my feet are half asleep, so my toes won’t separate.
  • The fact that I have no control over my sleepy morning self. Yes, sleepy morning me, I did set that alarm for a reason.
  • The fact that I have no control over my sleeping self. Yes, sleeping me, I did put that bandage on for a reason.
  • When people misspell words. Especially easy words. Like spelling lose as ‘loose’. Gaaaahhhhhrrrrrr! Die you people, die!
  • When people use the wrong their/they’re/there.
  • Americans who assume they are the centre of the universe. AKA, 99% of Americans. No, the whole world does not say hard R’s! Yes, humour is spelt with a U! No, you should not have the default English language, especially since ENGLAND INVENTED YOU!
  • TV shows who fail at Aussie accents. Yes, I’m looking at you, LOST. Seriously, how on Earth, does an Australian character, played by an Australian actor, have such a bad Australian accent? No, Aaron is not pronounced Erin.
  • TV shows who try to pass off one accent as another. Yes, I’m looking at you, Prison Break. First you try and pass off a clearly British man as an Australian one. And then you make him say bollocks. And cut off the T while saying “it has”, instead of the H. Real Aussies say “it’as” – not “i’has”.
  • People who are racist against people by excessively claiming racism.
  • People who try too hard not to be racist.
  • People who are racist in general – especially people who are racist against white people. Why do I say that? Because clearly I’m gonna care more about my own race than other people’s. Some people will call that racist. But I just call it common sense.
  • Hypocrites. Although I’m a bit of a hypocrite at times. But that’s cool, because hypocrites can do that.
  • When my nan argues about God and tries to disprove science. And convert us.
  • When people try and claim my ideas as their own.
  • When I really love a song, but can’t remember the name. Or any of the lyrics. Or the artist. Or the tune. Or even somewhere that I’ve heard it before.
  • Wanting something expensive and seeing it everywhere, but when it finally goes on sale, it’s nowhere to be found.
  • Buying something, then going back to find it is on sale.
  • Fur clothing. Faux fur or no fur! Yes! I finally used my slogan!
  • Tony Abbott.
  • People who are against gay marriage. No, not just laws against gay marriage. I do not like individual people who are against gay marriage. It wouldn’t hurt them. It wouldn’t even affect them! Being anti-gay-marriage is just plain mean. I know the use of the word ‘mean’ probably sounds immature, but it is very fitting.
  • Non-gay people who get offended at any (and I really mean any) use of the word ‘gay’, just because they know someone who is. Gay, I mean. And who doesn’t actually get offended by nearly as many things as their non-gay acquaintance.
  • A race/racist/racism-related version of the above statement.
  • People who think goths are evil. 
  • When I open my Caramello Koala or Freddo Frog all nicely (AKA, head first), and the chocolate doesn’t match the wrapper. As in, I get the legs first. Blast you, cadbury! I opened it that way for a reason, Goddammit!
  • Mouth ulcers in such bad spots that the Bonjela won’t stay on. And neither will the salt. Or the Vegemite.
  • Actually, ulcers in general.
  • When I download a movie in iPod format, only to find out that my bloody iPod is a dickhead and doesn’t like it.
  • Even worse, when I convert a movie into iPod format, only to have the same thing happen.
  • The fact that gorgeous bras are just not made for people with giant breasts! Yes, U-Bra company, I actually would like to wear a low-cut dress once in a while!
  • Cinema bitches who accept a birth certificate and not a concession card, and then have the nerve to ask if the person with the birth certificate wants to see the film alone. Yes, because the person with the concession card will just bum around for two hours while their friend sees the movie without them…
  • Cinema bitches like above, but who also don’t even accept parental consent – either in the form of a signature, or even them buying the tickets to give to their children.
  • When I get given Pepsi Max instead of normal Pepsi. Okay, hearing Pepsi Max when I say “Pepsi, thanks” is perfectly understandable. But hearing Pepsi Max when I ask for “Pepsi, please”? Hearing Pepsi Max when I ask for “Pepsi”? Hearing Pepsi Max when I ask for bloody “normal Pepsi”?!
  • The McIdiots who got rid of M&M McFlurries. How did that conversation even go?! “Oh, this dessert has great sales, everyone seems to love it. You know what an awesome idea would be? Let’s get rid of it and sell some crappy attempt at gourmet instead!” Growl.
  • Waking up after an awesome dream.
  • Not having superpowers.

This turned out to be more of a completely new list of things that piss me off. Oh well, the old stuff just wasn’t as pointful.