Tag Archives: crush

How to Flirt in Three Easy Steps

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I have come to the conclusion that I am the best at flirting. And by ‘best’, I do of course mean ‘the actual worst’.

Flirting tips from the Ninja Robot:

  1. Play werewolf with the person of your affections.
  2. Get dealt the cupid card.
  3. Make the lovers the said person and yourself.

Wallah! You have now (un)successfully flirted. Warning: This may or may not (but most likely may) be completely unbeknownst to the other.

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Dreams Suck

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Well, some of them do, anyway. Most dreams are terrific. But when they hijack your emotions and distort your perception of reality? That is just not on. When I woke up this morning, I was in love with a fictional character. In my sleep last night, I went to a fancy city sort-of place, along with several of my (fictional) friends. One of them was my boyfriend. He had dark hair, and looked a little like a cross between Harry Lloyd and someone with a shorter neck. His name was Jordan, and we were very much in love. The city we were in was rather small, probably more of a village, but bustling, and it had sort of a Qarthish vibe to it. But it was big enough to contain a zoo. At some point during our visit to the zoo, Jordan managed to break both of his ankles. Somehow he was still standing, so it took a while for me to convince him to go to the hospital – which was also inside this supposedly tiny city. As he was gone, the rest of the girls and I went to this row of nightclubs. Okay, everywhere we go in this dream is inside the city, so just take my word for it that this supposedly small city is actually rather big. One of the nightclubs in the lane was the .Katy Perry nightclub. Whoever names venues in this city appears to be lacking imagination-wise. But anyway, while the Katy Perry nightclub was a nightclub in name, it most definitely wasn’t an actual nightclub. It was more like a giant bathroom. There were two storeys to it. The first floor contained a bath, and the second floor contained a shower. But the Katy Perry nightclub wasn’t an ordinary bathroom, oh no. The taps in its bath and shower did not dispense water, but rather, they dispensed milk. Or more specifically, they dispensed milk that smelled like liquid milko chews. The Katy Perry nightclub was really quite delicious. After we had gone there, we continued along the lane to the other nightclubs. As we had our fun, we kept an eye out for Jordan, who was taking an abnormally long time. Finally, after a mix-up with someone’s ID, we decided to take a break. I’ll take this time to explain the layout of the places we went to in the city. The nightclub lane was in the West, with the Katy Perry nightclub towards the outside of the city. In the North-East was the zoo, with the hospital directly to its West. Just South of the zoo and the hospital, directly in front of their entrances, was a large grassy circle area, with benches facing in around it. As we had our break and waited for Jordan, we sat on one of the Southernmost benches, facing the hospital. Finally, after a few minutes of sitting and talking, I spotted Jordan hobbling towards us with red and purple casts on his legs. I waved and shouted out to him, and then noticed my old boyfriend from high school a few metres in front of him, who had thought I was waving to him. We awkwardly caught each others’ gaze and looked away, before Jordan finally reached us at the bench.

This happens to me surprisingly often. I already posted about the time I woke up feeling like I had too many kidneys. And the time I had a crush on a fellow uni student for several weeks following a dream. I haven’t posted about the time it happened while I was dating that old high school boyfriend. I had dreamt that I was in the shed room they passed off as a classroom – the one next to the Omega toilets, on the side that the sports shed was not – with a very attractive young man. He had curly dark hair, and having recently watched Misfits, I could compare him to a smaller-eyebrowed version of Nathan. But anyway, I was fooling around with (let’s just call him Nathan for convenience’s sake) Nathan in the shed room, and one thing led to another, and we ended up having sex. And I bloody well loved it. Which is really quite hilarious. But anyway. When I woke up, I felt like I had cheated on my boyfriend. Like, I actually liked this fictional Nathan guy. And I had gone further with him than I had with my boyfriend. I felt bad about it for a few weeks after that. It was all very strange. And now it’s all very strange again. Because I have once again fallen for a fictional character that my dream-self made up. Thanks, brain. Thanks a lot.

Beautiful but Nameless

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Last night I went to a party in a spooky, Gothic castle, where I met this amazing girl. She was beautiful, and sweet, and feisty, and we really hit it off. We were chatting and flirting the entire night. Afterwards, we knew we definitely wanted to see each other again, so we exchanged phone numbers. It was only later that I realised that while I had gotten her number, I had completely forgotten to ask her name! For some reason, I couldn’t just text her or call her, so I went a bit crazy. I tried searching with her phone number on Facebook, but that didn’t turn up anything. So I tried Google, but that didn’t help either. I didn’t manage to get her name.

Later on, I was hanging around with these four guys. For some reason, we had to escape from the cops, so we stole a super-fast car in which we would be able to escape. I was having a huge feeling of deja vu, and I absolutely knew that something terrible was going to happen. We drove really far (which took basically only a few seconds), until we stopped somewhere in the country, with a random school oval on one side of the road, and a little abandoned post office on the other. When we got out of the car, one of the guys had a lump on his shoulder. I started backing away, and said “I’m sorry, I’m really sorry, but you’re going to explode”. And he did. We all jumped onto the oval to avoid the splatter, and started rolling down the hill. Once we stopped rolling, we looked up to see cops coming towards us from the other side of the oval. We tried to indicate the splattered guts, but they either couldn’t see or just chose to ignore it.

The cops ignored me, and headed straight for the guys, as if I wasn’t involved in whatever they had done. I saw the girl from the party coming up behind them, and she walked over to me. She smiled at me, and took my mobile phone, and entered in her name.

No, Brain, Dreams are not for making Crushes

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Oh no. Not again. I’ve got another crush on a guy I barely talk to. This is awkward. First it’s like “you’re hot”. Then it’s like “you have a cool voice”. Then it’s like “you have the name of a god”. Then it’s like:

“So, I’ll just have a dream about you, where there are a bunch of people in your trailer, preparing for some big battle that’s coming. I look at your family photos above the sink, until it’s time to head off. The battle is near a train station, and it’s against a whole bunch of random evil people, some of whom have the ability to shape-shift. We start fighting, and I get a few good shots in. But then the battle takes a turn for the worst, and you get hit with a rock-snowball, and fall down a hill and die. I’m devastated, but manage to hold myself together like Zoe and carry on the fight. I get word that Tara wants to see me on the train, so I head over there. She’s looking out the opposite window, with her back facing me, and talks to me without turning around. But after a while, I realise that it’s not Tara at all, but in fact a shape-shifter, so I run out of the train. I’m so freaked out – you’re dead, Tara’s missing, everything’s going to shit… So I keep running. I run back to the trailer, and I take a photo of you from above the sink. Just a little something to keep me fighting.”

What. The. Flip. Seriously, what is with my dreams? Why does my brain always seem to go “hey, Caity, here’s this really awesome guy who may or may not be real – go have a crush on him”? At least this one is real. But seriously. I do not talk to this guy much at all. What the flip?

Baby Faces & 19th Century Facial Hair Do Not Mix!

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After watching the movie Carriers last night, my love affair with Lou Taylor Pucci was rekindled. A love affair which – fun fact – began as a result of seeing the music video for Jesus of Suburbia, whilst in my emo phase, and thinking ‘this guy’s pretty hot’.

So yes, after watching Carriers, I looked Lou Taylor Pucci up on Google, you know, to be a stalker and find photos of him. And let me tell you – men with baby faces such as his should NOT grow facial hair from the 1800’s. Really. It does not work. 2009 Sundance Film Festival - "Arlen Faber" Portraits

But anyway, because of this, I have decided to give Thumbsucker another shot. I first tried watching it a few years ago, way back when Tara and I shared the old desktop in her bedroom. But watching a movie on a shared computer, when you can only watch it in like twenty minute segments? Yeah, you get bored after a while. So I gave up on it. But I’ve decided to give it another chance. It’s not actually a bad movie, by the way. It’s about a guy who sucks his thumb, then stuff happens, and then he does drugs. Well, it’s not one of the greatest movies in the world, but it’s not the Human Stain bad.

But back to Carriers! The whole reason for this post! Wow. That was a good movie. It’s about four friends (Lou Taylor Pucci, Chris Pine, Piper Perabo, and Emily van Camp) who are trying to make their way to the beach, in the middle of a virus apocalypse. It’s quite sad. But like I said, good movie. Some parts even got to me like the Thin Red Line and Chronicle. Although not quite on that level. But that’s still an achievement.

Now I suppose I better include a normal picture of Lou Taylor Pucci, so I don’t just look like some weird girl who finds fake emo’s and 19th century gunmen attractive. Okay, I guess I still seem kinda weird. He looks like fifteen. But look at those eyes! And those dimples!

And now I am having one of my insanely obsessive moments, when I am really annoyed that the picture goes down much further than the text. Which is why I’m adding this completely pointless extra paragraph. This really annoys the hell out of me. You can just ignore this bit. Perhaps I’ll say more about how weird I am.

Yes, so Lou Taylor Pucci would have to be one of my more weird crushes. Like Tom Hiddleston (blast you Tara for making fun of me!) and Harry Lloyd (no way in hell am I telling her that I find Viserys Targaryen hot). I don’t think I’ll tell Tara about this one. I mean, I did watch Carriers with her and Ross, after all.

And I’m nearly there! I think I deserve a reward. That was bloody hard work. I suppose I could just attempt to get over my insane perfectionism (is that even a word?). But that’s just too difficult.

I’m Like a Schoolgirl, Honestly…

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So I haven’t posted in a while, and I realise that my last post was about how I like Tiernan. And that was what, 2 weeks ago? Well, since then, things happened. Well, Jess’s (yes, I am one of those people who adds an extra S after the apostrophe. No, I will not stop just because it is grammatically incorrect) party mainly. Tiernan asked me out. 🙂 I’m like a little schoolgirl, I get so excited. We’re now official! And no, I won’t post any details of anything, that has happened or ever does happen, on the internet.

You know how sometimes you can never be attracted to someone physically, and then all of a sudden you get feelings for them? Well, that wasn’t the case. Way back when I first went up to second floor, I found Tiernan pretty hot. I always thought he was the hottest second floorer (no offense anyone else, but it is fitting after all). He has long, dark, curly hair. I love his hair. 🙂 I even like his facial hair, which is really weird for me. And his eyes are green. At first I thought they were brown, but they’re actually green. And they have flowers in them. I like his clothes. Particularly his jackets. Although I’m not sure which one I prefer yet… And I don’t know if I’ve already mentioned his voice before or not, but it’s awesome too. And he says excellent! How awesome is that? People always seem to think it weird when I say excellent… 😦

Anyway, I’ll stop being crazy now. I should probably go off and teach myself a subject I still don’t know anything about, 2 weeks before the exam. That’s what, 24 lectures and 12 weeks of readings? Yeah, I’m sure to ace this…

It’s Times Like These I’m Glad To Be Female

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Tara kidnapped me yesterday. Well, she called  me and dragged me away from uni before I even got to see a certain second-floorer. It was for an award she got for uni, and I’m her sister, so I forgive her. Well, more so because of what happened today, actually.

Today was awesome. 😀 I’ve just realised that I probably can’t say what I was going to without giving away who this person is… Crap. Oh well, he probably doesn’t know this exists anyway, so it’s alright. Well, one of the groups at uni had a meeting today, so we did the food shopping together. Alone. Yeah, there’s nothing special or exciting about that whatsoever… But we did have a nice long conversation. A completely random ordinary conversation, but any conversation’s good with me! 😀 Sigh. He is very nice.

So anyway, I’ve been thinking about him like all week. It’s quite annoying, really. I was thinking about him on the tram today. Just thinking about his face, and his voice (which is really awesome, by the way), and his hair, and his jacket… And then I started thinking what it would be like to kiss him. And let me tell you, the middle of a tram is not the best place to think such things. So yeah, thank God I’m not a guy…