I found a list of things that annoy me the other day, that I wrote a few years ago. I thought I might post it up here, with a few alterations. So now it shall be a mixture of things that annoy me a bit, and things that really do actually piss me off.
- Girls who take photos of themselves while thrusting their hips together, hands on hips, arching their backs, and pouting their lips.
- People who post photos of themselves online with the caption ‘ugh I’m so ugly’. If you think you’re ugly, you hide the picture or photoshop it nice. You’re clearly just seeking compliments.
- Girls who say “I’m so fat, I’m so fat” all the time to fish for compliments.
- Girls who do the above, and then when someone finally agrees, they get all bitchy.
- People who share their own photos on Facebook. As in, post a photo of themselves on Facebook, and then 6 hours later, click the ‘share’ button. Yes, there are people who do this. Yes, this makes me want to eat my own head.
- People who post photos of food on Facebook. Okay, this doesn’t piss me off as such, I just don’t get it! Why do we need to see your food? Sure, it’s understandable when you’ve made an awesome pool-cake or something, but why do we need to see your boring old salad?!
- When I need to stretch my toes, but my feet are half asleep, so my toes won’t separate.
- The fact that I have no control over my sleepy morning self. Yes, sleepy morning me, I did set that alarm for a reason.
- The fact that I have no control over my sleeping self. Yes, sleeping me, I did put that bandage on for a reason.
- When people misspell words. Especially easy words. Like spelling lose as ‘loose’. Gaaaahhhhhrrrrrr! Die you people, die!
- When people use the wrong their/they’re/there.
- Americans who assume they are the centre of the universe. AKA, 99% of Americans. No, the whole world does not say hard R’s! Yes, humour is spelt with a U! No, you should not have the default English language, especially since ENGLAND INVENTED YOU!
- TV shows who fail at Aussie accents. Yes, I’m looking at you, LOST. Seriously, how on Earth, does an Australian character, played by an Australian actor, have such a bad Australian accent? No, Aaron is not pronounced Erin.
- TV shows who try to pass off one accent as another. Yes, I’m looking at you, Prison Break. First you try and pass off a clearly British man as an Australian one. And then you make him say bollocks. And cut off the T while saying “it has”, instead of the H. Real Aussies say “it’as” – not “i’has”.
- People who are racist against people by excessively claiming racism.
- People who try too hard not to be racist.
- People who are racist in general – especially people who are racist against white people. Why do I say that? Because clearly I’m gonna care more about my own race than other people’s. Some people will call that racist. But I just call it common sense.
- Hypocrites. Although I’m a bit of a hypocrite at times. But that’s cool, because hypocrites can do that.
- When my nan argues about God and tries to disprove science. And convert us.
- When people try and claim my ideas as their own.
- When I really love a song, but can’t remember the name. Or any of the lyrics. Or the artist. Or the tune. Or even somewhere that I’ve heard it before.
- Wanting something expensive and seeing it everywhere, but when it finally goes on sale, it’s nowhere to be found.
- Buying something, then going back to find it is on sale.
- Fur clothing. Faux fur or no fur! Yes! I finally used my slogan!
- Tony Abbott.
- People who are against gay marriage. No, not just laws against gay marriage. I do not like individual people who are against gay marriage. It wouldn’t hurt them. It wouldn’t even affect them! Being anti-gay-marriage is just plain mean. I know the use of the word ‘mean’ probably sounds immature, but it is very fitting.
- Non-gay people who get offended at any (and I really mean any) use of the word ‘gay’, just because they know someone who is. Gay, I mean. And who doesn’t actually get offended by nearly as many things as their non-gay acquaintance.
- A race/racist/racism-related version of the above statement.
- People who think goths are evil.
- When I open my Caramello Koala or Freddo Frog all nicely (AKA, head first), and the chocolate doesn’t match the wrapper. As in, I get the legs first. Blast you, cadbury! I opened it that way for a reason, Goddammit!
- Mouth ulcers in such bad spots that the Bonjela won’t stay on. And neither will the salt. Or the Vegemite.
- Actually, ulcers in general.
- When I download a movie in iPod format, only to find out that my bloody iPod is a dickhead and doesn’t like it.
- Even worse, when I convert a movie into iPod format, only to have the same thing happen.
- The fact that gorgeous bras are just not made for people with giant breasts! Yes, U-Bra company, I actually would like to wear a low-cut dress once in a while!
- Cinema bitches who accept a birth certificate and not a concession card, and then have the nerve to ask if the person with the birth certificate wants to see the film alone. Yes, because the person with the concession card will just bum around for two hours while their friend sees the movie without them…
- Cinema bitches like above, but who also don’t even accept parental consent – either in the form of a signature, or even them buying the tickets to give to their children.
- When I get given Pepsi Max instead of normal Pepsi. Okay, hearing Pepsi Max when I say “Pepsi, thanks” is perfectly understandable. But hearing Pepsi Max when I ask for “Pepsi, please”? Hearing Pepsi Max when I ask for “Pepsi”? Hearing Pepsi Max when I ask for bloody “normal Pepsi”?!
- The McIdiots who got rid of M&M McFlurries. How did that conversation even go?! “Oh, this dessert has great sales, everyone seems to love it. You know what an awesome idea would be? Let’s get rid of it and sell some crappy attempt at gourmet instead!” Growl.
- Waking up after an awesome dream.
- Not having superpowers.
This turned out to be more of a completely new list of things that piss me off. Oh well, the old stuff just wasn’t as pointful.
Aboriginals. They really don’t do anything to help their cause, do they? A long while ago I posted a huge rant about Aborigines and all the racism surrounding them. Not just aimed at them, but involving them too. If I was pissed off then, it’s nothing compared to what I am now.
That was a video of a group of Aboriginal protesters burning the Australian flag. After an attack on the Prime Minister, Julia Gillard. And on Australia Day, no less. These poor excuses for human beings are the reason Aborigines get such a bad rep. These ‘people’ are disrespecting our country, our leaders, and everything our people have fought for.
If you want acknowledgment, then bloody well ask for it! Do not expect to disrespect my country and be given everything you want in return. If someone did that to me, they would get nothing. I would just take more and more, out of spite for their insolence.
But God knows what they want now anyway. More acknowledgment? They’ve already been apologised to – that is, an innocent man being forced to say “sorry” to a group of people who didn’t exist at the time of the original incident. We already have to make huge speeches about “original land” before saying what’s really important – sometimes even at funerals. They already get benefits for everything, including funding and reserved places in employment/education – even those who are wealthy or have less qualifications.
Europeans won this country fair and square. Yes, we invaded. But the bottom line is, we won. If you wanted the claim to Australia, you should have fought the Europeans off when they first got here. But you failed.
And don’t try and tell us that the Australian flag isn’t inclusive of everyone, and then force your Aboriginal flag upon us. Where am I in your little flag? I see no white above the red. I see only black. Your flag represents the colours of the earth, sun and people. The Australian flag represents the place. I think we can tell whose flag is more representative.
Like I said, he’s a dick. I was reading the newspaper the other day. Month. Well, the other year. Tony Abbott thinks that bible classes should be compulsory in ALL SCHOOLS. He thinks that all Australians should be well educated on Christianity and the bible before finishing school. Well I’M SORRY TONY ABBOTT! But some of us don’t believe in god! And what about the people with religions other than Christianity? Muslims, Wiccans, Hindus, Buddhists, Jews, Atheists, Agnostics, and the millions of other religions!!!!! Everyone who knows me knows that I mostly follow the rules and do not wag. But if bible classes were mandatory I would! Tony Abbott is a dick and whatever party he is in, if he ever becomes leader and is elected Prime Minister, I am going to scream. If that happens, and he does make bible classes compulsory, then I give my future children permission to wag those classes. Bible classes are for Catholic, Christian, or private schools only, and it should stay that way.
Indigenous Australians. Australia is NOT just made up of Indigenous Australians and Non-Indigenous Australians. Well, yes, technically it is, but Non-Indigenous Australians are completely different from each other. We are not one race of Non-Indigenous Australians. So why are health statistics only compared between Indigenous Australians and Non-Indigenous Australians? White people, black people, Asians, Indians, Native Americans, etc. all have differences in our average health. So why are they all grouped together? And they say that it’s horrible because Indigenous Australians only make up 2.7% of Australian’s population nowadays. And yeah, I suppose it is horrible. But it also makes it even worse that they’re grouping us into Indigenous VS Non-Indigenous! It’s like saying, “let’s group Australians into 2 groups. One can be 97.3% of the population and the other one can be 2.7%. What a fair grouping system!” Fuck off! We are Australians. If you want to take our race into account, take it into account! And don’t just take into account whether or not we are Indigenous!
Oh, and housing conditions. “Indigenous Australians have terrible housing conditions. Have a look at this photograph of an example of the poor housing conditions many Indigenous Australians live in.” *Looks at the photo* What the frig? This is just a bunch of crates and a campfire that most homeless people live with! It’s actually pretty fancy for homeless people too – look, crates for tables and chairs! This is NOT an example of Indigenous housing conditions. It’s an example of the conditions homeless people have to live in. Most of which who are not Indigenous at all.
I could go on for hours about this, and my voice would rise and rise and rise so much before I finish. I would probably end up clenching my fists and gritting my teeth as I talk, and maybe even get to the horrible stage of anger you get when you get tears in your eyes. Because this pisses me off SO MUCH! And yeah, you could call me racist. Well I’m SORRY for thinking that there is more to Australia than just Indigenous people and Non-Indigenous people.
And it’s not just that either. Acknowledgment of land. What is with that? I was watching a talk show, and the discussion was about whether or not acknowledging the land is always appropriate. One person recalled a funeral they went to, at which they acknowledged the Aboriginals as the original owners before they got into the ceremony. At a bloody FUNERAL! How is that appropriate? A funeral is a time for celebrating someone’s life, and mourning their death. It is not the time for politics!
And benefits. Sure, Aboriginals have a disadvantage. Why they haven’t tried to fix it themselves is unbeknownst to me. But whatever. Some Aboriginals are disadvantaged. Some Aboriginals actually have a significant amount of Aboriginal blood in them. But when people with one 16th of Aboriginal blood get to claim these benefits? When WEALTHY people with one-fifth Aboriginal blood get to claim them? It’s not right.
Why don’t people get that racism is not just being an asshole to other races? It’s treating them differently. In any way. So DON’T try and tell me that all white people are racist! Because THAT is just a fucking racist thing to do in itself! I would have a bigger rant but most of the things I would say, I would probably get accused of being racist or saying them. Even though I seem to be the only one around here who has a real idea of what racism is. And those people like Tara from True Blood who think that everything someone says to them is racist? Well they just give me the shits. We’re not the ones being racist. YOU are, for automatically thinking we’re racist because we’re a different colour to you. God I hate not being able to speak my mind. Supposedly we live in a society that lets us speak our minds and voice our opinions, but I guess they didn’t take into consideration OTHER people’s opinions when they let us. Because everyone knows that those people with other opinions will have a go at us. And when it’s about racism, it’s a whole lot worse.
Oh, and the KFC ad! Come off it! That is not racist! You know what I got from that ad? The guy felt awkward being in the middle of a whole bunch of fans from the OTHER TEAM! I didn’t notice the races! I thought it was just that he was supporting a different team to everyone else, and felt awkward, cos you know how there are heaps of soccer hooligans! So he fed the fans KFC so they wouldn’t go all crazy on him because he goes for the other team. Jesus Christ people! You get racism out of everything!
People try so hard not to be racist, that it just seems racist in itself. I heard someone try to claim that My Big Fat Greek Wedding was racist. Were they Greek? No. So what claim do they have about what is racist against Greek people?
As Jeff Winger so rightly said, “not being racist is the new racism”.