Tag Archives: accent

No, Brain, Dreams are not for making Crushes

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Oh no. Not again. I’ve got another crush on a guy I barely talk to. This is awkward. First it’s like “you’re hot”. Then it’s like “you have a cool voice”. Then it’s like “you have the name of a god”. Then it’s like:

“So, I’ll just have a dream about you, where there are a bunch of people in your trailer, preparing for some big battle that’s coming. I look at your family photos above the sink, until it’s time to head off. The battle is near a train station, and it’s against a whole bunch of random evil people, some of whom have the ability to shape-shift. We start fighting, and I get a few good shots in. But then the battle takes a turn for the worst, and you get hit with a rock-snowball, and fall down a hill and die. I’m devastated, but manage to hold myself together like Zoe and carry on the fight. I get word that Tara wants to see me on the train, so I head over there. She’s looking out the opposite window, with her back facing me, and talks to me without turning around. But after a while, I realise that it’s not Tara at all, but in fact a shape-shifter, so I run out of the train. I’m so freaked out – you’re dead, Tara’s missing, everything’s going to shit… So I keep running. I run back to the trailer, and I take a photo of you from above the sink. Just a little something to keep me fighting.”

What. The. Flip. Seriously, what is with my dreams? Why does my brain always seem to go “hey, Caity, here’s this really awesome guy who may or may not be real – go have a crush on him”? At least this one is real. But seriously. I do not talk to this guy much at all. What the flip?

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Sexy Voices

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When I was little (like 10 or so), my sister told me that Jonathan Davis had a sexy voice. At the time, I didn’t understand. How on earth could a voice be sexy? But a few years later, I realised what she meant. And my God, there are some people out there with insanely sexy voices.

When I first saw American History X, I melted. I had seen Edward Norton in movies before, but this was the first time I actually paid any attention to his voice (apart from what he was saying, of course). It is the hottest voice I have ever heard. Ever. When I watched one of his movies again a few months ago, I posted on facebook that I’d forgotten how hot his voice was. Ethan commented “There’s an entire movie that’s basically just Edward Norton’s voice. And it’s one of the greatest films ever made. And you forgot that?!”, and I must say, he is not kidding. I would totally watch a movie of him saying words. I would totally listen to him read an audiobook (ooh that’s a good idea, Edward Norton should totally read audiobooks). He has the sexiest. voice. EVER! Followed by Norman Reedus.

But sometimes (often, actually) sexy voices don’t belong to actors. They belong to singers, and you hear their voices long before you see what they look like. And sometimes, unfortunately, their voices don’t match their faces. I’m not saying that Anders Fridén, Michael Stipe, and Maynard James Keenan are ugly. Not by any means! But it is much more pleasurable listening to In Flames, REM, and Tool, than looking at photos of them. Seriously, they have amazingly sexy singing voices. I wonder if their normal voices are that awesome? I should listen to some interviews…

Sexy voices are often memorable, but there are also other memorable voices out there – ones that aren’t sexy, but very distinctive. I made a list of people with memorable voices. It accidentally has 50 people in it, but it’s not a top 50. It’s just a list of people in alphabetical order.

And just for the record – I love accents. Love them. I even love some accents that other people hate. It’s very annoying when I tell people that I love British accents, only for them to tell me off, and ask which ones. Because I love them all. All the ones I’ve heard, at least. I love Cockney accents, and other London accents. I love Liverpudlian accents and Glaswegian accents. I love Cardiff accents and Edinburgh accents. Outside of Britain, I love Irish accents and Colombian accents. I love Texan accents and redneck accents. I love Californian accents and Pennsylvanian accents. I love Russian accents and Croatian accents. And many, many more that I didn’t mention. So do people now appreciate the fact that it is a lot quicker saying things like “I love British, Irish, and American accents”, rather than saying everything above – and more?

Things That Piss Me Off

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I found a list of things that annoy me the other day, that I wrote a few years ago. I thought I might post it up here, with a few alterations. So now it shall be a mixture of things that annoy me a bit, and things that really do actually piss me off.

  • Girls who take photos of themselves while thrusting their hips together, hands on hips, arching their backs, and pouting their lips.
  • People who post photos of themselves online with the caption ‘ugh I’m so ugly’. If you think you’re ugly, you hide the picture or photoshop it nice. You’re clearly just seeking compliments.
  • Girls who say “I’m so fat, I’m so fat” all the time to fish for compliments.
  • Girls who do the above, and then when someone finally agrees, they get all bitchy.
  • People who share their own photos on Facebook. As in, post a photo of themselves on Facebook, and then 6 hours later, click the ‘share’ button. Yes, there are people who do this. Yes, this makes me want to eat my own head.
  • People who post photos of food on Facebook. Okay, this doesn’t piss me off as such, I just don’t get it! Why do we need to see your food? Sure, it’s understandable when you’ve made an awesome pool-cake or something, but why do we need to see your boring old salad?!
  • When I need to stretch my toes, but my feet are half asleep, so my toes won’t separate.
  • The fact that I have no control over my sleepy morning self. Yes, sleepy morning me, I did set that alarm for a reason.
  • The fact that I have no control over my sleeping self. Yes, sleeping me, I did put that bandage on for a reason.
  • When people misspell words. Especially easy words. Like spelling lose as ‘loose’. Gaaaahhhhhrrrrrr! Die you people, die!
  • When people use the wrong their/they’re/there.
  • Americans who assume they are the centre of the universe. AKA, 99% of Americans. No, the whole world does not say hard R’s! Yes, humour is spelt with a U! No, you should not have the default English language, especially since ENGLAND INVENTED YOU!
  • TV shows who fail at Aussie accents. Yes, I’m looking at you, LOST. Seriously, how on Earth, does an Australian character, played by an Australian actor, have such a bad Australian accent? No, Aaron is not pronounced Erin.
  • TV shows who try to pass off one accent as another. Yes, I’m looking at you, Prison Break. First you try and pass off a clearly British man as an Australian one. And then you make him say bollocks. And cut off the T while saying “it has”, instead of the H. Real Aussies say “it’as” – not “i’has”.
  • People who are racist against people by excessively claiming racism.
  • People who try too hard not to be racist.
  • People who are racist in general – especially people who are racist against white people. Why do I say that? Because clearly I’m gonna care more about my own race than other people’s. Some people will call that racist. But I just call it common sense.
  • Hypocrites. Although I’m a bit of a hypocrite at times. But that’s cool, because hypocrites can do that.
  • When my nan argues about God and tries to disprove science. And convert us.
  • When people try and claim my ideas as their own.
  • When I really love a song, but can’t remember the name. Or any of the lyrics. Or the artist. Or the tune. Or even somewhere that I’ve heard it before.
  • Wanting something expensive and seeing it everywhere, but when it finally goes on sale, it’s nowhere to be found.
  • Buying something, then going back to find it is on sale.
  • Fur clothing. Faux fur or no fur! Yes! I finally used my slogan!
  • Tony Abbott.
  • People who are against gay marriage. No, not just laws against gay marriage. I do not like individual people who are against gay marriage. It wouldn’t hurt them. It wouldn’t even affect them! Being anti-gay-marriage is just plain mean. I know the use of the word ‘mean’ probably sounds immature, but it is very fitting.
  • Non-gay people who get offended at any (and I really mean any) use of the word ‘gay’, just because they know someone who is. Gay, I mean. And who doesn’t actually get offended by nearly as many things as their non-gay acquaintance.
  • A race/racist/racism-related version of the above statement.
  • People who think goths are evil. 
  • When I open my Caramello Koala or Freddo Frog all nicely (AKA, head first), and the chocolate doesn’t match the wrapper. As in, I get the legs first. Blast you, cadbury! I opened it that way for a reason, Goddammit!
  • Mouth ulcers in such bad spots that the Bonjela won’t stay on. And neither will the salt. Or the Vegemite.
  • Actually, ulcers in general.
  • When I download a movie in iPod format, only to find out that my bloody iPod is a dickhead and doesn’t like it.
  • Even worse, when I convert a movie into iPod format, only to have the same thing happen.
  • The fact that gorgeous bras are just not made for people with giant breasts! Yes, U-Bra company, I actually would like to wear a low-cut dress once in a while!
  • Cinema bitches who accept a birth certificate and not a concession card, and then have the nerve to ask if the person with the birth certificate wants to see the film alone. Yes, because the person with the concession card will just bum around for two hours while their friend sees the movie without them…
  • Cinema bitches like above, but who also don’t even accept parental consent – either in the form of a signature, or even them buying the tickets to give to their children.
  • When I get given Pepsi Max instead of normal Pepsi. Okay, hearing Pepsi Max when I say “Pepsi, thanks” is perfectly understandable. But hearing Pepsi Max when I ask for “Pepsi, please”? Hearing Pepsi Max when I ask for “Pepsi”? Hearing Pepsi Max when I ask for bloody “normal Pepsi”?!
  • The McIdiots who got rid of M&M McFlurries. How did that conversation even go?! “Oh, this dessert has great sales, everyone seems to love it. You know what an awesome idea would be? Let’s get rid of it and sell some crappy attempt at gourmet instead!” Growl.
  • Waking up after an awesome dream.
  • Not having superpowers.

This turned out to be more of a completely new list of things that piss me off. Oh well, the old stuff just wasn’t as pointful.