Two Hooks


So apparently I was going out with both Hook and Killian from Once Upon a Time. Well, both of them were really just Hook with two hands, but while Hook had short hair, Killian had longer hair in a ponytail. As I was going out my front door, I kissed Hook, but Killian saw, and got jealous. I followed him outside and told him that I was polyamorous, but he didn’t understand how it could be possible. So I explained that it was like how I could like watching Buffy, but I could also like watching the Vampire Diaries. He accepted that explanation, and we kissed.

But then I noticed that Caroline’s ring was missing, and I was wearing Elena’s instead. Killian took that to mean I was in danger, so he wrapped some rope around himself and gave me the other half, and kept saying the word “eight”. I thought that was a bit suspicious, so I tried to go back inside, but it was all shadowy and there were people in morph suits. So I wrapped the rope around my arms like a figure eight and held on. Killian said we were galloping, so I tried to gallop alongside him but failed. Caroline was apparently next to me and told me that my feet had to be flat, so I tried galloping with my feet flat on the ground, but I kept going backwards instead. By that time, Killian was way ahead of me, so I gave up on galloping and instead hot-wired a motorbike. I rode the motorbike trying to catch up to Killian, but apparently he had reached the destination months ago.

I came across Oliver, who was concerned about my riding. Despite the fact that I could stop the bike, apparently I didn’t know how to brake, as it kept making this horrible noise all the time. Oli tried to give me some tips, but I was in too much of a hurry. He also tried to ask me whether I was going too fast or too slow, but I had already left.

I rode into the park, which was just a bike path heading upwards, with trees coming out of an abyss beside it. I rode up a little bit, which was terrifying, but it was shadowy and there were people in morph suits, so I had to run away.

All of a sudden, I was at the destination, which was in the middle of the damn snow. But Hook wasn’t Hook anymore. Instead, he was Oded Fehr. And not hot ‘the Mummy’ Oded Fehr – regular short haired Oded Fehr. And Killian was all clean shaven. It was a sad day.

And the reason all of this began was because I was having a shower in a room with a giant spider in it, that produced videos about tentacle fantasies, but as a consequence would also create evil monsters. I wasn’t even the one who had turned on the giant tentacle fantasy video spider, but it clearly didn’t take that into consideration when it was creating all of those people in morph suits.


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