Romantic Boyfriend’s Guide to the Ninja Robot


The other day I was moving into the spare room, and I found a notebook in my closet. In it, it had something I had written many years ago (I think I must have been about 14 or so), and it was entitled ‘Romantic Boyfriend’s Guide to [My Name]’. So I thought I’d share it:

1. Stealing the Caitlyn Court street sign and giving it to me wrapped up as a present is probably the awesomest thing you could ever do.
2. Writing me a love song would have to be the most romantic.
3. My engagement ring must be white gold, preferably with a diamond about 3mm in diameter in the middle, with a smaller diamond on each side.
4. If you are a wicked-awesome graffiti artist, a romantic proposal is to paint “Marry me Caity” on a wall in big, fancy, colourful letters, and take me there, get down on one knee, and ask me (with a ring).
5. Otherwise, a romantic proposal would be to write it in a big heart in the sand on a nice beach, take me for a walk on the beach at sunset, and get down on one knee beside it and ask me (again, with that ring).
6. It would be really cool if you got me the fanciest engagement-like plastic/silver/steel ring in the world, put it in a fancy box, and proposed with that before I chose my own ring.
7. I will be very disappointed if your proposal includes pyjamas, a fight, a ring in a champagne glass, no ring at all, or anything incredibly boring. Or a half-assed effort.
8. “Marry me Caity” fortunes inside fortune cookies, on the other hand, I will accept.
9. If you are certain I love you and will marry you, then hijacking the microphone at an awesome concert is cool too.
10. And finally, if you know what is good for you, you will forfeit all rights in the naming process of any children.

I think the lamest part is that I still agree with half of these. No, actually, the lamest part is that while typing this, I ‘corrected’ graffiti into graffitti, only to find that my past self actually can spell better than me.

Edit: Google is a fucking bastard. Clearing outdated cache does not do a thing to remove search results.


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