I’d Rather Go To Hell


Normally I am completely tolerant of people’s religions. I accept that they have their beliefs, and they (with the exception of my nan) accept that I have mine (or lack thereof). But sometimes my tolerance wavers a bit. Namely when I see dickheads with signs spruiking God, and claiming that we non-believers are doomed to go to hell.

Now, I have a few things to say to this. Firstly, what the flip? We don’t believe in hell! Your logic is faulty. You can’t recruit me by threatening me with something I don’t believe in. It’s like saying “give me all your money, or I’ll shoot you with my invisible gun”. And that doesn’t work particularly well, does it?

But secondly, and more relevant if hell turns out to exist after all – what’s so bad about it anyway? Okay, sure, there’ll be fire and possible pain. Whatever. But I can guarantee you that the company will be much better. I don’t want to be hanging around with God and his “holier than thou” attitude. He’s screwed far too many people over for me to be friendly with him. I’d be far more likely to take his little sceptre (or whatever he holds, if he holds anything on that cloud-throne of his) and clonk him over the head with it. I’d have much more fun in hell with all the other atheists this God disowned. I think Stephen Fry, Johnny Depp, Douglas Adams, Seth Green, Joss Whedon, Billy Connolly, Christopher Eccleston, Ian McKellan, Natalie Dormer, Helen Mirren and I could have quite the party!


2 responses »

    • I don’t need to read a book to know what I believe or don’t believe. I dare other people to stop trying to force their own beliefs upon others – it might do them some good.

      And I think you might benefit more from a book about grammar than I would from a bible.

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