That is something I know. I have known it since before I can remember. At least since I was five. Usually it doesn’t bother me. But I know it’s weird. I’ve never told anyone. And it kills me in relationships. It’s not why I end them. That’s a different weirdness entirely. But it makes things different. I listen to other people talk all about their endeavors, and I wonder why they’re so normal. And I think about the amount of people I now know with such varying sexualities, and even genders, and I wonder why this thing, that seems tiny in comparison, is so hard for me to mention.
Whilst I write this, I am chatting to Oli. And since typing that last paragraph, I have told him. Everything. And he took it surprisingly well. He has not been scared off. I feel refreshed and happy. I look forward to Tuesday.