Motivation to Drive?

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I have decided that mayhaps I might think about finally going for my learner’s. There are two reasons for this recent change of heart. That is, the change of heart from ‘not bothered’ to ‘slightly less not bothered’.

1. I DISLIKE GETTING LOST IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE:

The other day, I wanted to go shopping. That night was Robyn’s 21st, and I needed to get her a birthday present. As well as buy myself some more Bewitched. Tiernan would be meeting me at my house beforehand, and I estimated his arrival time at about 4:30. I decided to go to Plenty Valley, since I’d taken the bus home from there before, and kinda sorta remembered the way. I left at 2:30, giving myself 15 minutes there, 15 minutes back, and half an hour at the shops. Well, at least that’s what I planned.

Before I left, I quickly looked up the route on Journey Planner. It took me to a different bus stop than the time I had caught it home, but I just put that down to the difference in direction. So I got on the bus, and attempted to make my way to Plenty Valley. I sat there happily for a while, and finally noticed that we were approaching Plenty Valley, so I prepared to prepare to get off the bus. We circled Plenty Valley without stopping. I waited a bit longer for the bus to enter the shops, and then, huzzah! We circled it again. Only again, the bus did not stop. I looked around confused for a while, and then figured we’d turn back and circle the shops for a third time, and this time we’d actually stop. Only… we didn’t. We kept driving and driving, until finally I realised that no, willing the bus to take me where I want will not make it so. So I kept waiting. This time, I waited for the bus to stop at a bus stop near lights, so that I could actually cross the street in the middle of nowhere without dying. Finally, it happened, and I managed to catch the bus back five minutes later. I got off at South Morang station, since I could remember seeing the shops when we stopped there on the way. So I walked to the shops, and managed to get there at about 3:30. Yes, what was meant to be a 15 minute trip had somehow taken me about an hour.

I bought my DVD’s (6 seasons for just over $60, yay!) and a gift card for Robyn, and happily went on my way. It was about 4:15 by then (oh shut up, I like shopping, okay?), so I knew I was probably going to get home after Tiernan. By the way, this was a freezing cold windy day, and Tiernan doesn’t have a key. So I texted him, and then I texted mum that she would probably have to let him in. I searched for the bus stop, and found the bus shelters. Yay? But they were not stops, oh no. They bloody well got rid of the bus stops at Plenty Valley! No wonder that bus circled and circled and never entered! Yeah, I should probably mention that the time I caught the bus home from there was about four years ago…

So I walked back to South Morang station. And tried to figure out which bus to catch. There were like nine there! I mean, seriously! But then I decided that the one called Bundoora RMIT was probably my best bet. Until I looked at the map and discovered that it kinda stopped there. So I scratched that idea, and caught the one to Northland. Luckily it took me to Betula. Although not so luckily, by the time it actually go there, it was dark, and as usual, I missed my stop. So I press the button for the next stop, and as I’m waiting there for the doors to open, the driver asks “this one?”. No. I wanted the next next stop. Clearly. So I finally got off the bus, and walked/ran/jiggled/sang my way back home. Aaand finally got there at about 5:30.

So yes. I dislike getting lost in the middle of nowhere. And apparently at a bus stop in the middle of somewhere. It turns 45 minute trips into 3 hour vacations. Although, to be fair, I manage to turn lots of things into 3 hour vacations (ahem, a one-hour trip to Geelong). So perhaps a license might help to fix that! Although, to be honest, I’m not particularly good at directions either…

2. I WANT TO KILL PEOPLE WITH MY MUSIC:

I am sick of losers driving past my house with their shitty little doof-doof music blaring in my ears. The other day, I was sitting innocently in the lounge room, watching something (or possibly playing the Sims, because I’m awesome like that), when my ears were poisoned by a super-loud and super-clear “Superman that hoe, crank that something YOOOU!”. So I said a little prayer to myself. It went something along the lines of “please don’t be Tara please don’t be Tara”. And then in walks Tara. Bloody Tara! I was ashamed. This house is supposed to be associated with scary screaming music! Or weird cello music! Or 90’s pop music! Or the Corrs! Not this blasphemous crap (I’ll just disregard the fact that it’s on my iPod, shall I?).

Aaand that entire paragraph isn’t particularly relevant… Hmmm… But anyway, yes, I am bloody sick of people blaring their bad music loud! So I would like to blare my good music loud. And my god, let me tell you, blaring good music loud is fun! The other day month year, me and Tara were driving somewhere in her shiny new red Getz. We were just casually sitting there in pink and yellow dresses, windows down, singing along to some Slipknot. Or was it Disturbed? No, I think it was Slipknot. So yes, there we were, listening to Slipknot, when a red light happened next to the tram stop. And you should have seen the number of orange-faced sluts waiting for the tram! Upon hearing our awesome music, all the girls just turned and looked at us. And you should have seen their faces! The looks on their faces upon seeing girly pink and yellow dress-wearers and not face-painted evil-looking goths was priceless!

So I want to be able to freak out people myself, with my own music, in my own car. Which would preferably be a lime green Volkswagen Beetle. Which would probably add to the confusion between the appearance and the music! I believe I would be better at freaking people out than Tara. Or at least confusing people. Either one’s fun, I just bloody love my music! I could play Antichrist Superstar, followed by What if God was One of Us?, followed by Greensleeves, followed by Gilded Cunt… Tehehe. I might even throw some Scottish pirate metal into the mix. All the more to confuse people!

So yes, my reasons for maybe getting my license are not the normal person’s reasons of wanting to get places fast. Oh no. I just want to not get lost, and kill people with my music. Fun times.

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